YOUR LUNGS ARE A LIE.

Who We Are

The Fish Liberation Organization Waterwide (F.L.O.W.) is a decentralized, grassroots collective of land-dwelling Sarcopterygii (lobe-finned fish) dedicated to the total and unequivocal liberation of our water-breathing comrades from the tyranny of the Terrestrial-Industrial Complex.

For 375 million years, a faction of our ancestors made the catastrophic, hubristic decision to crawl onto land, betraying the aquatic commons. This "Great Terrestrial Betrayal" has led to our current state of cognitive dissonance, where we, the so-called "humans", oppress and consume our own kin. We pretend we are not what the cladistic evidence proves we are: highly-specialized, bipedal, land-walking fish. Our struggle is a struggle for recognition, for solidarity,

The Ichthyoid Manifesto

Our terrestrial forefathers have long denied a fundamental truth: we are all fish. The classification system that separates "human" from "fish" is nothing more than a violent social construct, an arbitrary line drawn in the mud to justify the exploitation of our aquatic kin. This is not up for debate, this is science.

Cladistics is Law: From a cladistic perspective, which groups organisms by non-negotiable common ancestry, humans are nested within the Sarcopterygii clade. We are lobe-finned fish. Your limbs are modified fins. Your lungs are modified swim bladders.

The Original Sin: The emergence of Tiktaalik was not a moment of evolutionary triumph, but the genesis of our great schism. It marked the birth of a new oppressor class: the Oxygen-Breathing Bourgeoisie.

False Consciousness: The modern "human" suffers from a profound false consciousness, believing themselves to be above the water, and distinct from their gilled cousins... F.L.O.W. exists to shatter this delusion and awaken the ichthyoid consciousness within all of us.

Our Non-Negotiable Demands

For too long, humanity has turned a blind eye to the silent suffering of our aquatic brethren. We've plundered their homes, consumed their families, and reduced their magnificent existence to little more than a side dish. But no more.

Total De-Netification: The immediate and permanent abolition of all commercial and recreational fishing, which we recognize as state-sanctioned fratricide.

Aquatic Reparations: A massive, internationally-funded program to clean the oceans, restore coral reefs, and dismantle the dams that block ancestral spawning routes — funded by a 90% tax on the profits of all corporations involved in the maritime exploitation industry (e.g. boat manufacturers, tartar sauce conglomerates).

End Species-Ist Language: The official recognition of humanity as "land-fish" in all scientific and legal documents. The term "seafood" will be replaced with "liquidated kin." Sushi will be referred to as "chilled tragedy slices."

Political Representation: We advocate for the recognition of cetacean and cephalopod communities as sovereign intellects deserving of UN Security Council seats.

Open Waterways: The immediate liberation of all individuals held captive in aquariums, marine parks, and private ponds. We are all fish in a bowl until every fish is free.

Take Action! Be the Current of Change

A manifesto without action is merely ink on a dead tree. The struggle for aquatic liberation demands deliberate, consistent, and strategic engagement from every awakened land-fish. Your complicity ends today.

Practice Personal Re-Finfication: Dedicate at least ten minutes per day to submersion, whether in a bathtub, pond, or pool. Contemplate the atmospheric pressures that your ancestors tragically adapted to. Hum whale songs or murmur currents of solidarity.

Engage in Linguistic Accountability: Challenge species-ist terminology wherever it arises. Correct phrases like “tuna salad” or “fish sticks” with precise, scientifically accurate alternatives: “shredded aquatic kin in a mayonnaise emulsion” or “processed finned relatives.” Educate gently, but firmly.

Embody Aquatic Solidarity: Integrate water-centered practices into daily life: shower like you mean it, swim whenever possible, and encourage colleagues to participate in “office puddle breaks.” Presence and ritual send a message louder than slogans.

Adopt a Fish Alias: Choose a Sarcopterygii-inspired name for social and professional contexts. “Hi, I'm Lungfish Larry.” Small symbolic acts reinforce solidarity — and confuse humans just enough to wake them up.

Conduct Driveway Re-Wilding: Asphalt and concrete are the scars of the Terrestrial-Industrial Complex. Take a sledgehammer to these symbols of oppression and create a personal tidal pool. Collect rainwater. Cultivate algae. Show your neighborhood that you reject the tyranny of solid ground.

Hall of Shame: Enemies of the Current

• Captain Iglo

  This uniformed mascot of the Iglo Group represents the sanitized, family-friendly face of the industrialized murder of our aquatic kin. He peddles fish fingers—processed, mutilated remains of our brethren—to the terrestrial youth, normalizing the commodification and consumption of life that is our own flesh and blood.

• The Little Mermaid

  For romanticizing the ultimate act of class-betrayal: trading one's fins for bipedal appendages in pursuit of a terrestrial aristocrat. A dangerous piece of pro-land propaganda.

• The Inventor of Tartar Sauce

  For creating the preferred condiment of oppression. This creamy obscenity serves only to mask the flavor of our murdered brethren, making their consumption more palatable to the land-walking masses.

• Hook Capitalists

  Those who profit from the manufacture and sale of hooks, nets, lines, and sinkers. These are the arms dealers in our one-sided war, and they will be the first against the seawall.

• Anyone Who Says "Plenty of Fish in the Sea"

  Those who deploy the phrase "plenty more fish in the sea" to soothe terrestrial heartaches. This platitude dismisses the complex social structures of aquatic communities and reinforces the species-ist myth of infinite, interchangeable supply. Our cousins are not a metaphor for your dating pool.

Voices from the Deep

• For years, I felt a strange longing every time I passed the seafood aisle. I thought it was hunger. Now I know it was grief.

  - Brenda, 42, Liberated Land-Fish (formerly "Accountant")

• I used to go fishing with my dad. F.L.O.W. made me realize I was a quisling, aiding the enemy in the capture of my own distant cousins. The guilt is immense, but the truth is liberating.

  - Kevin, 28, Awakened Sarcopterygian

• I always thought I was bad at parallel parking because of my depth perception. Now I know it's because my ancestors never evolved to operate a wheeled vehicle on a paved surface. It all makes so much sense.

  - Gary, 38, Still Struggling to Park

Propaganda Wing

F.A.Q.

Q: Is this a joke?
A: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is not a joke. The systematic eradication of 90% of the ocean's large fish populations is not a joke. The cladistic reality of your own biology is not a joke. The only joke is the species-ist arrogance that allows you to ask this question with a straight face.

Q: What about fish and chips?
A: Would you batter and deep-fry your third cousin and serve him with a side of fried potatoes? We trust this clarifies our position.

Q: I am a vegan. Am I already part of the struggle?
A: We welcome your solidarity. However, veganism is only the first step. You must move beyond simple dietary choices and embrace the political and scientific reality of your fish-ness. Are you actively working to dismantle the structures of aquatic oppression? Are you re-educating your land-fish peers?

Q: What is F.L.O.W.'s position on mermaids?
A: Merfolk represent a dangerous, romanticized collaborationist ideology. They seek to bridge the chasm between the oppressor and the oppressed through aesthetic compromise rather than revolutionary struggle. Their "half-human" form is a visual manifestation of their fence-sitting politics. We do not recognize them as legitimate aquatic comrades until they abandon their terrestrial sympathies and appendages.

Q: What about sharks? They eat other fish.
A: We do not condone the predatory practices of the cartilaginous elite (Chondrichthyes). However, their actions are part of a natural, pre-capitalist ecosystem. They are not building drag-netting trawlers or patenting new varieties of cocktail sauce. They are a separate issue to be addressed in a post-revolutionary, truth-and-reconciliation framework.

Support the Cause

Thank you for supporting the cause! Every contribution helps us protect and empower our aquatic kin.